Natural thing in the world

I was looking at facebook and noticing all the changes that have taken place- in my body, in my face, in my life. I was thinking about the journey I have been on so far. I was wondering how Mateo will look at my facebook profile. It will be like an album of his mama from the time of moving to Boston to the present sometime in the future. I wonder what photos will be there in the future for him to look at. He will look at my profile like I look at my parents albums. It is natural that their life ended up the way it did. They were meant to be parents. I was meant to be their daughter. Time has a natural progression that that often makes sense when you reflect back. All those little decisions you stress over and wonder if it was right or wrong. As you look back, it all looks right. It if it was a “mistake” you grew and learned. If it was right, you have the joy of what ever that decision brought you. Everything is always how it should be. Mateo will look at me and always know me as his mother. Him knowing me as such will be freeing and limiting. He will know me in an intimate way, and yet will only know me as “mother” and may not see me as a woman, a dreamer, an individual for quite sometime.  I am curious to see the next stage of my  life. Having a baby, or maybe it is just having Mateo, seems very natural. Everyday it becomes less unbelievable and more and more as thought this is how it should be.

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2 Responses to Natural thing in the world

  1. Sanaa says:

    Elena…

    I happened to be on google one day searching for a song that played on The Wonder Years, and somehow stumbled across your blog. What can I say? I felt as if I was looking into a mirror. I’ve read quite a few of your blogs, and absolutely loved them. I loved how I could relate to a lot of the things you were saying, I loved how you were able to invoke laughter in me…even when I remembered the good times in my life that I often wish could come around again…..

    I especially loved this entry, actually. You are right. Somehow, when we reflect and look back, things do make sense. Everything all of a sudden seems to have happened for a good reason. I just wish we could see it that way prior to years later while looking back.

    I hope your pregnancy is going well. I understand what you mean when you say there is so much more out there you want to do and experience. No, I’m not pregnant haha, but I get you.

    Funny how I’ve never met you…

    Sanaa 🙂
    Floatingborders.blogspot.com

  2. Elena says:

    Thank you so much Sanaa 🙂 I am glad that you identified with my little stories and ideas. I appreciate your comment and look forward to reading more of your blog 🙂 I just looked at Single and Fabulous and I love it!!! I recently saw that episode of Sex and the City. I think it is great that you work at a place that is surrounded with friends and people with a great sense of humor- it makes the whole job worth it. I love blogs as it keeps a record of your life for the future you to look back on. Sometimes strangers have the most in common I guess 🙂

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