I was looking at facebook and noticing all the changes that have taken place- in my body, in my face, in my life. I was thinking about the journey I have been on so far. I was wondering how Mateo will look at my facebook profile. It will be like an album of his mama from the time of moving to Boston to the present sometime in the future. I wonder what photos will be there in the future for him to look at. He will look at my profile like I look at my parents albums. It is natural that their life ended up the way it did. They were meant to be parents. I was meant to be their daughter. Time has a natural progression that that often makes sense when you reflect back. All those little decisions you stress over and wonder if it was right or wrong. As you look back, it all looks right. It if it was a “mistake” you grew and learned. If it was right, you have the joy of what ever that decision brought you. Everything is always how it should be. Mateo will look at me and always know me as his mother. Him knowing me as such will be freeing and limiting. He will know me in an intimate way, and yet will only know me as “mother” and may not see me as a woman, a dreamer, an individual for quite sometime. I am curious to see the next stage of my life. Having a baby, or maybe it is just having Mateo, seems very natural. Everyday it becomes less unbelievable and more and more as thought this is how it should be.