real woman alert

I am a real woman, not because I have breasts, a vagina, long hair, an hour glass figure. I am a real woman because I am making my own life choices. I am in control of my life and am proud of the person I am and with whom I decide to share my life with.

I am a real woman, not because I am married, or pregnant, or looking to buy a house. I am a real woman because I have say over what goes in my body and what comes out.

I am so sick of woman putting other women down for their life choices. “What do mean you’re not going to have kids, every woman wants kids!” “I can’t believe you are going to have kids add to over population and leave more of a carbon foot print!” The super traditional, and super liberal just break my heart and pull me in an utter tizzy!

For the record. I am not having Mateusz because of some traditionalist, Christian value is telling me that I have to. I am not having have Mateusz because I am uneducated and my husband is asserting his dominance by keeping me barefoot and pregnant. I am having my son because I love him. I loved him when he was just a thought that Jakub and I talked about. I love family and I wanted to have a family with my husband, a piece of him and a piece of me.  Mateusz was planned, wanted, and loved from the moment he started his journey of life inside me.

I in no way judge others who do not feel the same as I do about family, children, or marriage. I am happy that Jakub and I had our single years together- just the two of us. I am happy with the way our relationship changed and evolved through the now almost 9 years we have known each other. I am married to him and stayed married to him because he is my life partner and someone I want to share my life with. We didnt get married because God told us to, my mother was putting pressure on us, or that marriage would allow us to finally have sex.

I totally understand how other women don’t want to get married, or have children. It is their own choice to take control of their bodies and their life. Right now my mind is consumed with baby things and family desires. I am sorry for any single woman out there content with her life that has to listen to my prattle about strollers and breastfeeding. I in now way mean to insult her life choice to be a free independent woman as she sees fit. But likewise, I don’t want to have my life choices be scrutinized and put down by these women by declarations of “I am a feminist and want gender equality and never want to have kids”. Like, are you for real? Kids automatically means I am a slave to my husbands carnal lusts, and his own need to be a Henry the 8th and have an heir. I am just frustrated with this whole thing. Of being looked at by both the extremes and navigating my own path that I need to defend and stand up for.

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