Mateusz on the move!

A couple weeks ago I was writing an email and my son was on the bed, crying per his usual routine when he is not being held. I paid no attention for two mintues or less it took me to write the email.I kept talking to him saying “mommy is right here”, “I swear I love you, I just gotta get this out.” When I turned around to pick him up I realized he was no longer in the middle of the bed, but had pushed himself to edge by the wall and his head smushed between the bed and wall. Yeah, a complete bad mommy moment. I scooped him and held him and loved him and promised never again! But it was the first clue I had that this baby can move. He hasnt stopped. He rolls now. Usually from back to tummy, but occasional, and mostly be accident, from tummy to back. Which means he can cover quite a bit of ground. And today, today he figured out how to inch worm his way across the entire bed. (Memo to self, bed is no longer safe AT ALL). He did this all under my watchful eye and the eye of video camera. These are the moments I love being a mommy. I love seeing the changes. The growth. The stages. The transition from infant to baby, to mover and beyond are so amazing. I look back at being pregnant as it being a world away. I forgot the sickness, the weight gain, the tiredness. And forget about my pregnancy days- you mean there were times I didnt have a baby??? I feel like Mateusz has always been in my life. I may not have met him yet, but somehow he was always apart of me. He completes me and completes our little family. He gave us a hard time in the early days, but even now those trials are dulling in the wake of such tremendous love. There are still times when my temper and tiredness gets the best of me. Random hair grabs at the 2 AM feeding have a way of sending me over the edge. But for 99.9999999% of the time he is a joy to take care of. I hope one day he will understand how much I love him and what him coming into the world has done for me. Having a baby is very selfless for a woman (career, body, SLEEP all scarified) but it is also a little selfish. I feel so much joy in being his mother. I know I have (see above) and will make mistakes, but I hope he always knows I tried my best. And it always came from love. I guess that is always a parents wish.

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