Sometimes I worry about things I am doing, or not doing for Mateusz. I am not on GardenMom which is the new “IT” website for Boston mommies. We didnt have a swaddle blanket, and he never really liked being swaddled in the first place. We don’t use a pacifier. I sometimes try, but keeps spitting it out. I don’t pump as much as I should. We actually skipped eating cereal today, because I didnt feel like pumping. But I think the most thing I am worried about is that we dont have a routine. I mean, we don’t bathe at night. I figure if he is going to be clean we might as well go somewhere because it won’t last long. Books and quiet hours are hard when every weekend, and sometimes during the week we are in another place other than our home. Grandparents, and extended family always seem to be up for a visit. We also have friends that come over and well it is hard to say keep talking while I go put the baby to sleep in other room, when he will go to sleep nursing in the living room. I have never been good routines, structure, anything to do with organizing really. I try. I try and for two days we do look at books. And then he isnt tired enough to sleep. Or I forget. Or it is the weekend and someone is up for dinner. Schedules. Bath time. Bedtime. All seem to be negotiable in my book. Other mothers seem to be on the ball with things. Whenever I walk out of the house I am guaranteed to have forgotten something.
This weekend we were at the outlets and he pooped. Not just the “oh no, this is inconvenient” poop. But the, “what the heck is he crying for?” As the poop is going up his back and onto his WHITE onsie and mommy and tatus are rocking him the stroller as they look at winter coats. (Not our proudest parent moment) Yeah, well in the public restroom after cleaning up the poop from his bottom, his back, his thigh, his ankle (?!?), I reached into my diaper bag and remembered we had just intended to go for a quick walk this morning when I packed it and didnt put in a change of clothes for him! I always,always have a change of clothes for him when he doesnt poop all over the place! I looked at his happy diaper wearing boy and sighed. I put him in a new tshirt I had gotten from the Gap, x-large because the mediam was way too small all over, and the large doesnt fit the bosom. We strapped him in the stroller, and our purple wearing samurai looking little baby went to the car to go home. See- UNORGANIZED and NOT PREPARED.
If I had a schedule or a routine I would be prepared for all sorts of things. My dream (which is probably unobtainable) would be like that mom from the movie “One Fine Day”. Terrible movie. But there was this one scene where the kids needed a costume and she reached into her purse and worked magic with the odds and ends she found in there. I wish someone would say I need__ and I could pipe up with, OH I have that! Instead of me always being a wipe short, and a burp cloth too late. We all have dreams and aspirations in my life, mine is just to be prepared for it.