10 years

10 years Jakub and I have been in each other’s lives. Been on the roller coaster of love, life, and all that falls between. I wish I could go back and clearly go through the first time I met Jakub. He was walking across the ball field at camp. I was coming out of the office. He had on checkered shorts and a Camp America tshirt, and I had on black capri sweat pants and a yellow Brazil soccer jersey. I smiled and extended my hand to him. I thought he is cute, he would never go for me, and I know it must be hard to be here all alone and I want to make him feel welcome in that order. Little did I know that he would go for me, and that I would make him feel little less alone that summer 😉
I came to him one night. He was watching a movie with two very socially awkward people, in a very awkward social situation. I came to him with tears in my eyes. I was feeling alone, hurt, and I wanted someone to talk to. I wanted to share my feelings with someone. I didn’t know if anyone else that might be respective to hearing them. I took a risk, and I went to him. I showed him my tearstained, weepy face and he didn’t run. He didn’t judge or fain interest. He was truly interested in my feelings and my perspective. From that moment on, we were together.
A few days later we were sandwiched in a car coming back from an excursion into town. There were five of us squished in the car, though I have no idea who the other three were now. The sun was shining and I was very aware of how close we were to each other. We had kissed, and talked and I was lost in my memories of the moment, when I suddenly wondered if you were thinking that all American girls kiss so freely. Oh my gosh, what if he wasn’t as serious as me. I turned to you and whispered “we are dating right? I mean, you aren’t going to kiss anyone else, right?” He looked at me like I was crazy and said “Yeah. I thought we were dating. I don’t want to be with anyone else.” Thus you were my boyfriend and I was your girlfriend.
The kiss. I should back up and tell you about the first kiss. It was a beautiful clear warm but windy evening. It was one of the moments where you think you are lucky to be in nature, a life, and young. I was by the water getting the fire ready for the the campfire that was about to take place. You were there to help me, or spend time with me. I don’t know which. We were sitting on lounge chairs waiting for people to come. We were talking with smiles glances like young people do when they are love but are shy to be the first to make the move. They think they are so subtle, but everyone knows that language! We were talking, and suddenly I got my courage up. I counted one, two, three, and just kissed you. I didn’t know what to do, you were stunned but went with it, and we kissed right there on the beach, with the water, the mountains and the sun as witnesses. I didn’t want it to end because then it might be awkward, but you can’t kiss forever. But in that moment our lives changed. Whatever course we thought we were on, or had planned for ourselves, changed. We had kissed, and liked it, and wanted more.
Ten years later, I still want more. I want more of everything. More summer evenings, more life changing moments together, more kisses, more time, more love. We continue with more, adding children into the mix. Oh Mateusz, if you could find such love in your life. I hope you do. I hope she is worth it and that you know her worth. We fight, you will fight, but the good moments. The good moments are so plentiful, and so worth all the hard times. It wasn’t easy. Meeting young, having a long distance relationship, cross continental, cross cultural relationship, but we made it. Sometimes by the skin of our teeth, but we did. Learning to talk to one another, learning how to fight with one another, how to forgive, how to move on, those are important lessons to learn with your partner. It is more than how do you like your eggs, and if you both like to read or the same taste in art. It are the differences that can sometimes bring you closer. The other person can fill the gaps or flaws that you have, and yet not want to change you. Love you the way you are, just help enhance your natural beauty. That is a good relationship. You will read fairytales, and will be familiar with cliches, but nothing will prepare you for the love of your life. It will never be everyday or every moment that you will feel they are the love of your life, but will be in the quiet moments of togetherness, or during a storm that you have to weather, that you will think Thank God this person is in my life. I am so thankful that the world conspired to bring Jakub and me together. We were not looking for our lives to change, we were not ready in so many ways, and yet the fates found us and moved us, and we it all worked out. Jakub is my best friend, my confidant, my conspirator, my lover, the father of my children, he is much a part of me he is in my soul. It is a marriage and a life like none other I could ever fathom for myself. It is love. Simple, plain good old fashion love.

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