Here I am feeling big and tired, and still I got another 15 weeks to go! Still up dancing with zumba. Still carrying Mateusz around. Still trying to do all the activities I was doing before with the same gusto and energy (even if at night that leaves me zapped with the attention span of a one year old :-)) This pregnancy is different than with Mateusz. I cry a lot. I feel depressed a lot. Working with Mateusz and seeing friends and of course, having the support of my husband does a world of good, but still those blues persist. There isn’t much to do beyond persevering. I don’t believe in taking drugs while I am pregnant if I can at all help it, and I am not sure what I would talk about during a talk therapy session. My life is wonderful, my husband is amazing, my child the best kid ever. I love my house, I have good friends ect. Woe is me! I know this is just hormonal and some days are worse than others. I just hope it ends with the pregnancy and that it won’t continue on. If something bothers me during the day it sticks with me. It sticks with me while I take care of Mateusz, while I am trying to sleep, in my dreams, ect. It is like I can’t get my mind off of it. I shouldn’t make this sound like I am so miserable. I just have my moments or days, or nights that are difficult. But on the whole this pregnancy is amazing.
And of course, I would do it again!!! Without question or pause for consideration!! I love being pregnant. I love feeling Sebastian move and kick inside of me. I love my growing belly (most of the time, sometimes it does get in the way). I love the joy and strength that comes with feeling like my body is doing something amazing! Pregnancy is amazing. Yes there are tough times, and difficult aspects. BUt the pay off, that makes it all worth it. I have realized this pregnancy that just because I am changing, my baby is changing, my life is changing, does not mean I need to halt everything. Modify and adjust, but not drop things. (Accept alcohol. I did drop alcohol from my beverage list). I feel more empowered this pregnancy. I felt more awe and privileged with Mateusz.This time I feel like I can do it! I can do anything! The human body is amazing and I as a woman, doing my part to create one, is amazing!
So my belly is big, and it is about this time I start to wonder, how will I continue to stretch the reaming 15 weeks…I mean, 15 is a lot of weeks and a lot of growth to go! But somehow it will all work, baby, mommy, body will all work together to make sure a healthy baby comes out at 40 weeks- or a day or two earlier. My cut off date is October 24. That is when a v-bac is no longer on the table. So lots of zumba to do that last week, and lots of pineapple and eggplant too!
Most of the time I feel good about my body and how I look. I still manage to feel beautiful. My skin is not so bad. My hair- well as good as can be expected. I dress well and try to go out of the house looking like I put in a little bit of effort each morning. But sometimes the whole awkwardness of pregnancy gets the best of me. I feel good and want to express it to Jakub and well it can be a bit of a fiasco. It never looks as good as Hollywood makes it out to look, and there is a reason no one really films pregnant ladies and their partners. Good communication is the key to any relationship especially at this time of life 😉
We are doing well here over all. Mateusz is talking- Da-da for doggie. Tata for Tata (father in Polish), Mama for me!, Uck for truck, Hi, bye, and a-thruck for “wiatrek” fan in Polish. IT is funny to see him wave hello at the baby in the mirror or great the fan in his room with “hi”. I love seeing him grow and develop. Being a mommy is truly beautiful! And I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Holding him, smelling his scent makes me the happiest person ever!